Mothers of Gays. Better yet Gay Indians.
I had a tango performance this weekend. I had to drive in the rain for an hour before I got to the banquet hall. Everything that could go wrong went wrong. I had to drive sort of out of town, but since I vaguely know the route I didn’t actually take a map or anything but decided to wing it. Bad decision. The route got diverted due to construction and I had to figure out where I was going from the middle of the diversion. It was so unsettling. With the heavy downpour and the fact that I was running a little late for the practice that we had decided on doing just before, made me stop and ask for directions. Running out of time, and heavy downpour and country roads are not the best combination. Uhg! I was just really irritated. Finally I go to the place after driving right across it twice.
But performance was vaguely interesting and vaguely boring. It was interesting in the aspect that the performance went very well and I didn’t make any mistakes and for beginners I think that was a big deal to ask for since the practice was very unimpressive due to space constraints. The rest of the dance was ok. I got to dance a couple dances other than tango and I was struggling to remember whatever I used to know.
Finally driving back, the sun was out and had dried off the waters so quickly. Summer, I thought to myself. The heat was so warm, but I wouldn’t know since I had the windows rolled up and in my overly cooled cool. I felt a little chill as the loud club nights CD played Hindi club mixes in full volume. It was a nice feeling. felt like I was in some Hindi movie. Driving in an awesome car in switzerland with yellow flowers on the grass so neatly cut.
I had too many dinners this weekend. I had Friday night dinner outside in a Thai restaurant. I love the squash curry and will always love it. I took home half the food lest I overeat. Then on Saturday afternoon after dance practice I went to the Gay Indian’s house. His mom was visiting. I had good traditional Sindhi food. The khadi had so much ghee in it that I would have had to live at the gym for days. I gave in and stuffed as much as I could of that food. It wasn’t going to happen to often, so I made full use of it. Then on Saturday night I went to another friends house for dinner. My friend TheRock is back with his new wife, and in their honour this dinner was thrown. I had rotis, pulav, matter panner and daal.
Yes, I will elaborate on the visit of my friend’s mom in a minute. Anyways, so you guys know that this gay Indian guy is out to his parents and has a partner. He recently bought a new house and moved in and so his parents are visiting. They are less than thrilled about him being gay and all that. His mom was simply the sassiest person I have met so far. She entertained, judged and intimidated everyone. But she was a riot while she did all that. She doesn’t speak much English and so we all had to practice our Hindi. Mine is less than spectacular but managed a 20 minute conversation with her. She ending up telling me how I should respect my parents in the most friendly and casual way. I don’t know why she said that but I am sure I must have said something not so respectful of my parents. Normally I would have pondered on this until heavens came down but somehow I didn’t care this time. I just declared her judgemental in my head and went on about my business. We all sat there around his parents and said good things about him in general. Then we sang some Hindi songs and the whole shebang. Then I made a mistake. I saw partner boy sitting by himself in the other corner on the floor and rolling around. So I called out to him and said she if he wanted to roll around maybe he should come over to where we all were and roll around in the center. He hesitated and then came over. Exactly 2 seconds later auntiji and uncleji decalred that they were very tired and wanted to rest for the afternoon. Bells went off in my head. Clang clang clang! I-think-I-just-did-something-very-wrong feeling was rushing through every part of my body. But then with my calm face I continued smiling and we all continued singing. On after thought I rationalised to myself that I did the right thing by calling him over. If auntiji has a problem then she should be the one to leave. That was that. I feel sorry for the American partner. Being ignored in your own house. Wow! I would so totally not stand for such nonsense. I hope not at least. He was being treated like dirt. I felt my sense of outrage in hyper drive.
Anyways, had she known that I was gay myself, I wonder what she would have done. Maybe I wouldn’t have gotten that hug she gave me. Maybe she wouldn’t have bothered to be that nice to me. Oh heck, who cares, I have better things to think about.
There are gay pride events happening all over the place. I hope I get to go to at least one. I have started volunteering at the campaign to fight for gay rights in my state. I go there every Tuesday night and I do some data entry work for them. I think I have broken out of the cocoon where I was waiting to get comfortable with my “gaiety”. I am now comfortable and feel good about it. I am comfortable asserting my gaiety. I understand that it might make some people queasy, but I am simply letting me be me. So volunteering simply seemed like that next step to me. But I also was very unsure about it so I simply decided to do data entry. If I feel I get more exposure and I like doing whatever it is, then I might do something else.
Also, since I have decided that I wanted to volunteer more that just that since there is more to me that just being gay. I have applied for a volunteer opportunity in an old age care home sort of place where they need volunteers. It appealed to the more humanitarian side of me. But the process of application is so strict that it will take a while before I actually get accepted. I have volunteered to work in the kitchen and sort of behind the scenes. I think I was looking for something like manual labour since I have a desk job all week and some activity would be good for my body too.
Oh and last but not the least, my gay tango class was awesome this weekend owing to the fact that Antonio decided it was too hot and took off his shirt. And surprise surprise! he has some really good muscles. He looked awesome. He wasn’t completely topless. He was wearing a muscle shirt kind of thing, but when he was leading me, I had the chance to put my hand on those muscles and run my thumb across the rippled grooves of his shoulders. I know I sound like a teenager but you had to be there. Yeah, I smiled to myself the rest of the evening.
Mood: Just when you think life can't get any better, it gets better!
But performance was vaguely interesting and vaguely boring. It was interesting in the aspect that the performance went very well and I didn’t make any mistakes and for beginners I think that was a big deal to ask for since the practice was very unimpressive due to space constraints. The rest of the dance was ok. I got to dance a couple dances other than tango and I was struggling to remember whatever I used to know.
Finally driving back, the sun was out and had dried off the waters so quickly. Summer, I thought to myself. The heat was so warm, but I wouldn’t know since I had the windows rolled up and in my overly cooled cool. I felt a little chill as the loud club nights CD played Hindi club mixes in full volume. It was a nice feeling. felt like I was in some Hindi movie. Driving in an awesome car in switzerland with yellow flowers on the grass so neatly cut.
I had too many dinners this weekend. I had Friday night dinner outside in a Thai restaurant. I love the squash curry and will always love it. I took home half the food lest I overeat. Then on Saturday afternoon after dance practice I went to the Gay Indian’s house. His mom was visiting. I had good traditional Sindhi food. The khadi had so much ghee in it that I would have had to live at the gym for days. I gave in and stuffed as much as I could of that food. It wasn’t going to happen to often, so I made full use of it. Then on Saturday night I went to another friends house for dinner. My friend TheRock is back with his new wife, and in their honour this dinner was thrown. I had rotis, pulav, matter panner and daal.
Yes, I will elaborate on the visit of my friend’s mom in a minute. Anyways, so you guys know that this gay Indian guy is out to his parents and has a partner. He recently bought a new house and moved in and so his parents are visiting. They are less than thrilled about him being gay and all that. His mom was simply the sassiest person I have met so far. She entertained, judged and intimidated everyone. But she was a riot while she did all that. She doesn’t speak much English and so we all had to practice our Hindi. Mine is less than spectacular but managed a 20 minute conversation with her. She ending up telling me how I should respect my parents in the most friendly and casual way. I don’t know why she said that but I am sure I must have said something not so respectful of my parents. Normally I would have pondered on this until heavens came down but somehow I didn’t care this time. I just declared her judgemental in my head and went on about my business. We all sat there around his parents and said good things about him in general. Then we sang some Hindi songs and the whole shebang. Then I made a mistake. I saw partner boy sitting by himself in the other corner on the floor and rolling around. So I called out to him and said she if he wanted to roll around maybe he should come over to where we all were and roll around in the center. He hesitated and then came over. Exactly 2 seconds later auntiji and uncleji decalred that they were very tired and wanted to rest for the afternoon. Bells went off in my head. Clang clang clang! I-think-I-just-did-something-very-wrong feeling was rushing through every part of my body. But then with my calm face I continued smiling and we all continued singing. On after thought I rationalised to myself that I did the right thing by calling him over. If auntiji has a problem then she should be the one to leave. That was that. I feel sorry for the American partner. Being ignored in your own house. Wow! I would so totally not stand for such nonsense. I hope not at least. He was being treated like dirt. I felt my sense of outrage in hyper drive.
Anyways, had she known that I was gay myself, I wonder what she would have done. Maybe I wouldn’t have gotten that hug she gave me. Maybe she wouldn’t have bothered to be that nice to me. Oh heck, who cares, I have better things to think about.
There are gay pride events happening all over the place. I hope I get to go to at least one. I have started volunteering at the campaign to fight for gay rights in my state. I go there every Tuesday night and I do some data entry work for them. I think I have broken out of the cocoon where I was waiting to get comfortable with my “gaiety”. I am now comfortable and feel good about it. I am comfortable asserting my gaiety. I understand that it might make some people queasy, but I am simply letting me be me. So volunteering simply seemed like that next step to me. But I also was very unsure about it so I simply decided to do data entry. If I feel I get more exposure and I like doing whatever it is, then I might do something else.
Also, since I have decided that I wanted to volunteer more that just that since there is more to me that just being gay. I have applied for a volunteer opportunity in an old age care home sort of place where they need volunteers. It appealed to the more humanitarian side of me. But the process of application is so strict that it will take a while before I actually get accepted. I have volunteered to work in the kitchen and sort of behind the scenes. I think I was looking for something like manual labour since I have a desk job all week and some activity would be good for my body too.
Oh and last but not the least, my gay tango class was awesome this weekend owing to the fact that Antonio decided it was too hot and took off his shirt. And surprise surprise! he has some really good muscles. He looked awesome. He wasn’t completely topless. He was wearing a muscle shirt kind of thing, but when he was leading me, I had the chance to put my hand on those muscles and run my thumb across the rippled grooves of his shoulders. I know I sound like a teenager but you had to be there. Yeah, I smiled to myself the rest of the evening.
Mood: Just when you think life can't get any better, it gets better!
posted by Dunce Happy at 4:22 PM
1 Comments:
hm...:) actually she thinks that if she can stay with them then she can see how the partner is currupting the guy. she is very open about her feelings. she not really trying to understand but to find how she can remove him from the partners influence. the only thing good i can say is that she loves him enough to keep talking to her son inspite of his "failings".
she probably doesnt know that im gay because the partner came up to me and asked what i was talking so long for since we seemed to be getting along very well. so i told him and his only comment was that, "you didnt get her you were gay, did you?" to which i simply replied, no. it didnt come up. :)
the practical side of me says, that yes, its great that she was able to forgive the folly of her son choosing to be gay and stay with them and all, but the ideal side of me cant help thinking that its not fair that gay people have to deal with this. my friend is sane and can not be easily messed but think about the people who are already depressed. this is enough to push them over that edge. its not fair. drugs and alcoholism are not very surprising to me. i am not trying to make excuses for people, but when one group of people has the endure a lot more opposition than is usual, its only a matter of time before they break. (yes. i am in that sort of mood! :))
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