Looking back a couple weeks
Turkish guy and I decided to be just friends after a couple of dates. I was so afraid of getting dumped but strangely enough I didn’t find any connection with him at all. And I wasn’t upset to end it at all. Not that I don’t like him, but I have no connection with him at all. He did seem like a nice guy to be friends with and so we remain friends.
TheFire seems very upset that I dated TG. I didn’t see him for about three weeks and then last weekend I saw him come in. I went up to him and said hello and he seemed perfectly fine. He asked where my boyfriend was and I told him that TG and I were not boyfriends and that we had simply dated and decided to be just friends. He laughed. I asked him what was so funny. He just walked away. Then he sat in a corner and brooded like he usually does. With the one exception that I normally walk over and talk to him when he does that. I didn’t this time. I let him sulk. I kept looking over while I talked to the other guys. I saw him reject one guys advances while I was rejecting another guys advances. We both kept looking at each other and staring for a long time. I guess he was expecting me to go and talk to him. I was firmly telling myself that if he had any problems he would have to come and talk to me.
Then at some point he got up and wore his jacket and started to leave. As he walked past, I asked him if he was leaving and he replied in the affirmative and leaned over to hug me. As I hugged him back, I said, “I didn’t do anything wrong”. He gave me the dirtiest look and said, “I saw you.” with almost disgust in his eyes. I reached out to stop him as he walked off and he said, “Leave me alone”. I hate it when he does that. So I ran after him and yelled, “you know what, I….. hate you.” and went back to the dance floor and waited for the night the end.
The way I see it, he is not my boyfriend and has no right to tell me who I date and who I should not until he is. If he wants, let him ask me out on a date. He has no right to be angry with me. I agree that I should not have said that I hated him since I really don’t but I was angry with him that he was angry with me. Maybe I will apologize to him next time I see him for that. But that’s only if he still wants to talk to me. Does he know how pissed off he makes me feel when he is on the dancefloor with someone else? Do I go around yelling at him? But I have the state here that this is probably the most tame fight we both have had. In the past he has yelled stuff, thrown stuff and been really rude. Compared to all that this was almost a civilized fight. Is it normal to fight so much with a person who you are not dating and are supposed to be just friends with? I just don’t get my relationship with him. Anybody who has seen me with him seems to think not. Even Turkish guy asked me once if there was something about him I should be telling him. This is all so tortured.
Anyways, there is some happy news too. My dance competition went splendid and I won first place for Merengue and Tango and second place in foxtrot and cha cha. All this was the improvisation stuff though with no pre-rehearsed steps. It was a little disappointing that the Tango formation which was superbly choreographed in my opinion did not win anything. I am glad that I at least placed well in the others and feel good about the competition overall.
There was a Russian guy, who was absolutely stunning in his performance. Apparently he is a dance instructor but he looked like he was twelve or something. He was dancer number 155. There was this other dance instructor whose clothes fit him like so perfectly that I was going on and on about him to the gals who I was dancing with. I totally wanted to get clothes like he did. He was wearing a black pant, white shirt and black vest with a white bow tie. His vest did such a lovely job of showing off his shape. So slender and such grace.
It is starting to feel a lot like spring is ready to come in these days. There have been days when I just wanted to take a sick day and go driving to some lake nearby and spend it under the sun lying on the grass. Chill air and sun are a very drowsy combination but I love it when I can close my eyes and feel the sun on the face competing with the cold air. But I normally don’t last more than a couple minutes since that feeling puts me to sleep really quickly.
I am now continuing my Tango classes for a showcase coming up in June. All my other classes have ended and I am not planning on taking much else during summer. I hope to have time to do some summer activities but I have no definite plans yet. I did decide against training for the half marathon since my body ached for one straight week and I couldn’t concentrate at work at all. Two whole months of that is something I decided I could live without for now. So I am doing 2 races that are about 40 or 50 minutes long.
I think this might give me time to blog more often that what I am doing right now and also to read some of the blogs out there that I haven’t been reading at all.
TheFire seems very upset that I dated TG. I didn’t see him for about three weeks and then last weekend I saw him come in. I went up to him and said hello and he seemed perfectly fine. He asked where my boyfriend was and I told him that TG and I were not boyfriends and that we had simply dated and decided to be just friends. He laughed. I asked him what was so funny. He just walked away. Then he sat in a corner and brooded like he usually does. With the one exception that I normally walk over and talk to him when he does that. I didn’t this time. I let him sulk. I kept looking over while I talked to the other guys. I saw him reject one guys advances while I was rejecting another guys advances. We both kept looking at each other and staring for a long time. I guess he was expecting me to go and talk to him. I was firmly telling myself that if he had any problems he would have to come and talk to me.
Then at some point he got up and wore his jacket and started to leave. As he walked past, I asked him if he was leaving and he replied in the affirmative and leaned over to hug me. As I hugged him back, I said, “I didn’t do anything wrong”. He gave me the dirtiest look and said, “I saw you.” with almost disgust in his eyes. I reached out to stop him as he walked off and he said, “Leave me alone”. I hate it when he does that. So I ran after him and yelled, “you know what, I….. hate you.” and went back to the dance floor and waited for the night the end.
The way I see it, he is not my boyfriend and has no right to tell me who I date and who I should not until he is. If he wants, let him ask me out on a date. He has no right to be angry with me. I agree that I should not have said that I hated him since I really don’t but I was angry with him that he was angry with me. Maybe I will apologize to him next time I see him for that. But that’s only if he still wants to talk to me. Does he know how pissed off he makes me feel when he is on the dancefloor with someone else? Do I go around yelling at him? But I have the state here that this is probably the most tame fight we both have had. In the past he has yelled stuff, thrown stuff and been really rude. Compared to all that this was almost a civilized fight. Is it normal to fight so much with a person who you are not dating and are supposed to be just friends with? I just don’t get my relationship with him. Anybody who has seen me with him seems to think not. Even Turkish guy asked me once if there was something about him I should be telling him. This is all so tortured.
Anyways, there is some happy news too. My dance competition went splendid and I won first place for Merengue and Tango and second place in foxtrot and cha cha. All this was the improvisation stuff though with no pre-rehearsed steps. It was a little disappointing that the Tango formation which was superbly choreographed in my opinion did not win anything. I am glad that I at least placed well in the others and feel good about the competition overall.
There was a Russian guy, who was absolutely stunning in his performance. Apparently he is a dance instructor but he looked like he was twelve or something. He was dancer number 155. There was this other dance instructor whose clothes fit him like so perfectly that I was going on and on about him to the gals who I was dancing with. I totally wanted to get clothes like he did. He was wearing a black pant, white shirt and black vest with a white bow tie. His vest did such a lovely job of showing off his shape. So slender and such grace.
It is starting to feel a lot like spring is ready to come in these days. There have been days when I just wanted to take a sick day and go driving to some lake nearby and spend it under the sun lying on the grass. Chill air and sun are a very drowsy combination but I love it when I can close my eyes and feel the sun on the face competing with the cold air. But I normally don’t last more than a couple minutes since that feeling puts me to sleep really quickly.
I am now continuing my Tango classes for a showcase coming up in June. All my other classes have ended and I am not planning on taking much else during summer. I hope to have time to do some summer activities but I have no definite plans yet. I did decide against training for the half marathon since my body ached for one straight week and I couldn’t concentrate at work at all. Two whole months of that is something I decided I could live without for now. So I am doing 2 races that are about 40 or 50 minutes long.
I think this might give me time to blog more often that what I am doing right now and also to read some of the blogs out there that I haven’t been reading at all.
posted by Dunce Happy at 12:06 PM
2 Comments:
hey there... i think ure perfectly right abt not giving way to The Fire. He needs to examine wat he wants and not keep ya hanging in like dat. *sigh*
o hey, i saw ya online at gay.com, in the india cuntrywide room one time, and buzzed ya too, but i guess u werent at de desktop or something. wud have been fun chatting with ya for real.
;_)
oh so that was you. yup. i seem to have left the computer running without logging off. i did message you back but aparently the chat software is not the same as yahoo and does not deliver messages next time you log in. anyways, i hope to see you some other time. whats your ID again? send it to me in an email at "duncehappy" in my yahoo.com mail so i can add you as a buddy and know if you are logged in next time.
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