The Other Man: Me
There is a new person in my life. B. He has begun to spend a lot of time in my house these days. First it started with long personal conversations and then movies and long calls almost every night. Then there was this weekend incident when we watched a movie together during which he started feeling me up and we ended up breathing really heavily on the couch watching very little of the movie. At 5am, I woke up and we went to the bedroom. We slept intermittently and felt each other up intermittently. We never kissed, I didn’t let him give me a blow job and I didn’t have sex with him.
Why, you ask? Well, he has a boyfriend/partner who is my friend. Now, before you go reacting, “Oh my god, he’s a cheater!” You must realize that my friend is completely fine with this guy sleeping around. At least that’s what my friend has told me a couple times in unrelated conversations.
Now, I have a dilemma, what the heck am I doing? It is sort of a convenient arrangement for me in that I am not exactly in a relationship and I don’t want to be. I don’t really wanna have sex right now. So I can continue feeling this guy up. There is no denying that it is a purely physical relation ship, he respects the fact that I wont kiss him or have sex with him. He has no problem, my friend seems to not have a problem. B later explained that my friend actually had an intimacy problem and never had sex with him, which explains why he has no problem with letting this guy sleep around. It's also possible that what he is not telling me, is that since this guy sleeps around, he doesnt sleep with this guy.
I told my dilemma to some friends of mine, LOH and EG. LOH is completely for the relationship albeit purely physical. EG is absolutely against it. She says that I should not come between the two guys. If that’s the only constraint then I am almost certain that I am not really coming between these two. But what if it gets messy? I am uncertain as to what I should be doing. It seems so no-strings-attached. So tempting. I’ll keep you guys informed on whether I decided to take to the next level or put a stop to it. But touching a guy after such a long time feel so good even if it is just a warm body laying next to you. He is very sweet, says nice thnigs and absolute flatterer. Its not that I have feelings for the guy, but I just feel like having fun while I wait for that perfect guy.
Why, you ask? Well, he has a boyfriend/partner who is my friend. Now, before you go reacting, “Oh my god, he’s a cheater!” You must realize that my friend is completely fine with this guy sleeping around. At least that’s what my friend has told me a couple times in unrelated conversations.
Now, I have a dilemma, what the heck am I doing? It is sort of a convenient arrangement for me in that I am not exactly in a relationship and I don’t want to be. I don’t really wanna have sex right now. So I can continue feeling this guy up. There is no denying that it is a purely physical relation ship, he respects the fact that I wont kiss him or have sex with him. He has no problem, my friend seems to not have a problem. B later explained that my friend actually had an intimacy problem and never had sex with him, which explains why he has no problem with letting this guy sleep around. It's also possible that what he is not telling me, is that since this guy sleeps around, he doesnt sleep with this guy.
I told my dilemma to some friends of mine, LOH and EG. LOH is completely for the relationship albeit purely physical. EG is absolutely against it. She says that I should not come between the two guys. If that’s the only constraint then I am almost certain that I am not really coming between these two. But what if it gets messy? I am uncertain as to what I should be doing. It seems so no-strings-attached. So tempting. I’ll keep you guys informed on whether I decided to take to the next level or put a stop to it. But touching a guy after such a long time feel so good even if it is just a warm body laying next to you. He is very sweet, says nice thnigs and absolute flatterer. Its not that I have feelings for the guy, but I just feel like having fun while I wait for that perfect guy.
posted by Dunce Happy at 3:24 PM
2 Comments:
Well, hello there!!
I see what you meant when you said what you did about my post the last time around.
Here's my two cents worth for the situation you're in: I feel that if you can truly remove yourself from feeling anything(emotional)towards "the guy" you should be fine to have sex or whatever you choose to, with him. it's very easy, when you haven't been in a realtionship, to confuse sex with one (trust me, I know from experience, mine and others) so, if you're not sure about what you feel for him and you begin to feel
emotionally attached-step away. If this is not the case then have fun, be safe, and let the guy know where you stand so that there are no illuisions on either end about anything more.
I am in an open relationship of sorts so I know a few things. All I can say is whatever you do just be careful about hurting yourself or anyone else, in that order.
Best of Luck Duncy ;-))
Anu
I see that you see what i meant when i said what i did. :)
That was just a fun thing to say. anyways, I do believe that I normally am the kind of person who would confuse love and sex so I am taking it slow. but as of right now, i just find the fact that he is with another person who he calls companion for life, enough reason to not have romantic feelings for him and be emotionally unattached to him. i like the guy otherwise. i think he is sweet. I think I'll be fine.
I liked it when you said, "Be careful about hurting yourself or anyone else, in that order". That actually makes things simpler when you think about these things. I am going to refer to you as "O-Wise-One" hereafter.
Hugs,
Duncy!
Post a Comment
<< Home