Craving Memories
So I’ve been thinking. Yeah, I know that my thinking never leads to any good, but I think anyways. I can understand why people crave food. It is essential for our body and over millions of years of survival, our body had adapted such that when our body lacks something, we crave it and then we eat and all is well.
But why do we feel nostalgic? I am convinced that it is some innate human behavior to reminisce and crave for something from the past. But why?
All this thinking was triggered by the fact that I had to read in the news that the earthquake response was slow because of holidays and then something about the conversation with my mom last Friday seemed to rise up from memory and I remember her saying something to my dad about the holidays which I hadn’t paid much attention to. I hadn’t even realized that it was Ayudha Puja time. Well being brought up a christian, the only non Christian festivals that were really of any interest to me were Pongal, Tamil new years day, Diwali and Holi. And even Holi got dropped off when we moved back to Chennai from Delhi but got added on again when I went to Pilani for my engineering.
The reason I am questioning myself is that of late I have been telling myself that even though I might have lost out on some of the festivals I have instead gained some more festivals like Fourth of July and thanksgiving and it’s just not reasonable to keep everything you had and only keep adding more. For example I had no exposure to garba whatsoever when in India, but when I came here I really really enjoyed it when I discovered it. No longer is garba one of those things my parents decribe as something they did when they were young.
Something about humans beings continuing to do things that we are used to and our hearts being programmed to feel a certain way if that doesn’t happen. Is it really a nutrition thing, or it is more a safe haven thing. Hm…I think its more a safe haven thing. That we feel happier and safer in places that bring back happy memories. Has that ensured human survival in some way? It seems plausible. Does that also mean that we should not go back to places that have bad memories for us because we will feel unsafe and unhappy somehow? It might be irrational but as long as you can justify why you are feeling a certain way I have no problems in embracing some irrational things.
Oh god. I am going into the infinite loop of not really making any sense and jumping from one thought to another without being able to fully grasp the enormity of what I am trying to grasp. It’s like when a fruit fly is trying to find a way to eat a fruit and flying round and round but the fruit is just too big. But eventually a fruit fly finds an opening. I, on the other hand haven’t really been able to tell if my thoughts are even coherent.
Urgh! It bugs me when I get like this. Must stop thinking!
Ok, I am trying to thinking about something else. Oh yes, my fishes gave birth again. Yeah, I know that you guys are bugged of hearing about my fishes but it still makes me happy everytime. So today went home for lunch and saw that there were tiny little fishes swimming around near the dense cover of plants. So I managed to net them and move them to a smaller bottle before leaving. I again thought about letting them stay in the big tank and see if they can actually survive the big fishes but something about tiny beings just born makes me all gooey inside and I'd rather that they live their first day in the big bad world without having to worry about being eaten. I know that the fishes probably don’t think so much, but it’s about how I would feel if i was in their place. I still haven’t figured out who the mother is. I have 5 potential mommies but all of them still seem quite “large” and I can't tell which one is todays mommy.
The dance class yesterday was good. Two fun moves. The "shared weight alternate dip", where you use your partner’s weight to propel yourself forward and them backward with one tug. the second being the "death drop" where you just stand right next to your partner and let them drop until both your hands are stretched tight and they have to stop falling. Many of us were not sure of doing it so the instructor decided to drop each of us himself so that we could have a feel for the drop. It was really cool. It was kind of like going on a ride. (hm..naughty thoughts.) The thrill and anticipation of when you are going to get dropped. Finally when my turn came, I went up to him and stood right next to him with my right shoulder tucked into his left chest and we held palm in palm near my chest. I smiled and he pushed me back. Bending at my knees on one foot and kicking the other one forward, I fell until my drop was broken and I was horizontal just a few inches off the floor. He then tugged me back into an upright position quite quickly. Too quickly. Its been playing in my head a few times now. Should I describe him? Perfect. Tall, slim, nice smile and nice powerful hold. He is gay, by the way. Oh, that was dreamy! But it really happened and it was awesome! I use too many exclaimation marks, dont I? I am too critical about whatever I do, am I not? :)
There is a dance competition that is going to be happening during my vacation and the instructor is even giving private lessons to those that are participating. Why could they not have had it the week after, I ask you? But Hawaii sings its sweet siren-esque melodies in my ears and I forget all about reality. Again. 8 days to go.
Quote of the Day:
You can dance anywhere, even if only in your heart. ~Author Unknown
About formal dancing: Dancing is wonderful training for girls; it's the first way you learn to guess what a man is going to do before he does it. ~Christopher Morley, Kitty Foyle
But why do we feel nostalgic? I am convinced that it is some innate human behavior to reminisce and crave for something from the past. But why?
All this thinking was triggered by the fact that I had to read in the news that the earthquake response was slow because of holidays and then something about the conversation with my mom last Friday seemed to rise up from memory and I remember her saying something to my dad about the holidays which I hadn’t paid much attention to. I hadn’t even realized that it was Ayudha Puja time. Well being brought up a christian, the only non Christian festivals that were really of any interest to me were Pongal, Tamil new years day, Diwali and Holi. And even Holi got dropped off when we moved back to Chennai from Delhi but got added on again when I went to Pilani for my engineering.
The reason I am questioning myself is that of late I have been telling myself that even though I might have lost out on some of the festivals I have instead gained some more festivals like Fourth of July and thanksgiving and it’s just not reasonable to keep everything you had and only keep adding more. For example I had no exposure to garba whatsoever when in India, but when I came here I really really enjoyed it when I discovered it. No longer is garba one of those things my parents decribe as something they did when they were young.
Something about humans beings continuing to do things that we are used to and our hearts being programmed to feel a certain way if that doesn’t happen. Is it really a nutrition thing, or it is more a safe haven thing. Hm…I think its more a safe haven thing. That we feel happier and safer in places that bring back happy memories. Has that ensured human survival in some way? It seems plausible. Does that also mean that we should not go back to places that have bad memories for us because we will feel unsafe and unhappy somehow? It might be irrational but as long as you can justify why you are feeling a certain way I have no problems in embracing some irrational things.
Oh god. I am going into the infinite loop of not really making any sense and jumping from one thought to another without being able to fully grasp the enormity of what I am trying to grasp. It’s like when a fruit fly is trying to find a way to eat a fruit and flying round and round but the fruit is just too big. But eventually a fruit fly finds an opening. I, on the other hand haven’t really been able to tell if my thoughts are even coherent.
Urgh! It bugs me when I get like this. Must stop thinking!
Ok, I am trying to thinking about something else. Oh yes, my fishes gave birth again. Yeah, I know that you guys are bugged of hearing about my fishes but it still makes me happy everytime. So today went home for lunch and saw that there were tiny little fishes swimming around near the dense cover of plants. So I managed to net them and move them to a smaller bottle before leaving. I again thought about letting them stay in the big tank and see if they can actually survive the big fishes but something about tiny beings just born makes me all gooey inside and I'd rather that they live their first day in the big bad world without having to worry about being eaten. I know that the fishes probably don’t think so much, but it’s about how I would feel if i was in their place. I still haven’t figured out who the mother is. I have 5 potential mommies but all of them still seem quite “large” and I can't tell which one is todays mommy.
The dance class yesterday was good. Two fun moves. The "shared weight alternate dip", where you use your partner’s weight to propel yourself forward and them backward with one tug. the second being the "death drop" where you just stand right next to your partner and let them drop until both your hands are stretched tight and they have to stop falling. Many of us were not sure of doing it so the instructor decided to drop each of us himself so that we could have a feel for the drop. It was really cool. It was kind of like going on a ride. (hm..naughty thoughts.) The thrill and anticipation of when you are going to get dropped. Finally when my turn came, I went up to him and stood right next to him with my right shoulder tucked into his left chest and we held palm in palm near my chest. I smiled and he pushed me back. Bending at my knees on one foot and kicking the other one forward, I fell until my drop was broken and I was horizontal just a few inches off the floor. He then tugged me back into an upright position quite quickly. Too quickly. Its been playing in my head a few times now. Should I describe him? Perfect. Tall, slim, nice smile and nice powerful hold. He is gay, by the way. Oh, that was dreamy! But it really happened and it was awesome! I use too many exclaimation marks, dont I? I am too critical about whatever I do, am I not? :)
There is a dance competition that is going to be happening during my vacation and the instructor is even giving private lessons to those that are participating. Why could they not have had it the week after, I ask you? But Hawaii sings its sweet siren-esque melodies in my ears and I forget all about reality. Again. 8 days to go.
Quote of the Day:
You can dance anywhere, even if only in your heart. ~Author Unknown
About formal dancing: Dancing is wonderful training for girls; it's the first way you learn to guess what a man is going to do before he does it. ~Christopher Morley, Kitty Foyle
posted by Dunce Happy at 3:01 PM
5 Comments:
i agree with sprockets!
and you have a real neat blog too Duncy
:-) thanks for checkin out mine - tho it hasn't been updated in a REALLY long time! (i'm a VERY bad blogger...!)
hehehe, hey again... a coupla things -
1) the link thing sounds great!
2) ure learning dance? ive been planning that for months now, but i keep postponing dat! sigh
3) i lived in chennai for abt a year! hehehe...
4) my roomie in delhi used to own fish too.. they died, though. goldfish, they were.
1. cool!
2. oh you really shd learn dancing. they are great and a great way for a non outdorsy person like me to keep in shape. whatever shape that is. :)
3. fellow chennaiite, huh? nice. i dont know too much about chennai though, since i was in that critical stage where parents want you to only study and was never in the city when i was enjoying the fruits of my labour.
4. fishes are finicky creatures. they get stressed out and die on you sometimes. :)
ta-tas,
Duncy.
I had a fish. A Siamese fighting fish named Moses..
He died.
Crap. Now I'm sad again!
Hey D - I did wonder but i am not hating you all that much. as long as you are reading, you are being good. so no complaints there. :) be good!
Vicky - i wouldnt cry too much over a fighting fish. i believe they are meant to die sooner or later. they almost always jump out of where you keep them and commit suicide. they are just not the most ideal fish tank fish even though they look so good. almost feathery, no?
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